What is your role in your home?
This has been on my heart for awhile. I feel like women are supposed to be the heart of the home. God has designed us for an unique purpose. It isn’t that we can’t lead or shouldn’t make decisions, but we really should model peace, love, and kindness in our home.
Have you ever seen wife swap? “If momma isn’t happy, no one is happy!” This makes me think about what tone we are setting for our homes? Are you being perpetually busy or are you always stressed?
We should have realized the tone we are setting in our homes.
For us, when we are constantly working to try to catch up with the ever growing workload, we don’t take time for the things in life that matter most. If we always chose to try to get everything done, then we are setting a bad tone for our marriage and family life.
We need to remember that the house doesn’t have to be perfect, the laundry will be there tomorrow (unless you don’t have clean underwear and in that case, please, do the laundry), and your tv show can be watched on netflix five months from now.
We feel like women, myself ourselves, have forgotten the most important thing in life, LOVE! It’s the people that matter! You can literally take NOTHING to the grave with you, but you can live on through the impact you made on others in your life. That starts at home, but it’s also the hardest to do at home.
We know that most people treat their closest family and friends the worst. Why is that? That we give our best to the people we will never see again, but we cannot be kind and gentle with our own family? Please don’t stop reading because I have really great news!
Even if you have been the abominable snowman in your household you can change.
You can be the wife, mother, daughter, and friend you were intended to be. I would never bring you down and then not show you the way back up! I know it’s hard, but there are ways you can change and make your household the safe, loving, and joyful place it’s supposed to be.
1. Search for the areas you need to work on.
-This could be anger, sadness, lack of energy, hostility, judgement, laziness, disorganization, business, harshness, too high expectations, etc.
-Ask your family what they would like to see you change and you can’t get mad!
-If you can ask your parents or a trusted friend. I am lucky enough to have both who are not afraid to tell me what’s what!
2. Make a physical list of the traits or qualities that are negatively impacting others in your home.
-Since your home isn’t perfect I am going to assume there will be other’s who may test your resolve and patience, but remember, it’s your home. No matter what hubby or the kids do, it’s you who will make the biggest impact in the long run, if you can make it!
3. List out things you can do on a daily basis to combat those traits and write them out next to each one.
-For business I wrote that I will never turn down time with others to do things that don’t have to be done that day.
I also wrote that I will take time for myself to workout or do other things I need to do in order to take care of myself.
-Next to unloving, I wrote that I need to find the love languages of the people in my life by the end of the week, so if you don’t get a call or text, please send me your list, I would love to know! (If your not sure what love languages are, please look up the book and read it! It’s pretty dead on. Basically it says that everyone has different ways of giving and receiving love. Most people don’t receive love the same way. For example, please don’t buy me gifts, they do nothing for me, but sit and talk to me for an hour and I will feel so loved! But my friend Kate on the other hand loves gifts and they make her feel special and loved. So for each person it’s unique, but knowing that information about others can help you to be a better friend, mother, lover, daughter, and whatever else you happen to be.)
In addition to finding out their love languages I wrote that I need to do something with that knowledge. I need to say the things I feel, or send the gifts that I think of when I am shopping, or just spend the time I would like to with the people I love.
-I could keep going, but trust me, you don’t want me to!
4. Put the list where you can see it everyday, and don’t be afraid to tell your family what you’re working on in order to get accountability and support.
It might encourage them to do the same. One of the greatest qualities my parent’s instilled in Rini and I was a drive to be better. We constantly saw them working on improving themselves while we were growing up and we definitely never forgot.
Please feel free to comment or contact us with any ideas or questions. We would love to hear from you all!
In addition, the woman is the heart of the home spiritually.
If you want to change your home for good in the best and purest way possible start praying for yourself and your family. The loving, kind, peaceful woman you want to be can be found through God’s love and searching for Him is the quickest way to change your home.
Thanks for listening!
Rini and Jess~